How to Get Healthy As F**k. A Shopping Guide.

Below are a few amazing products that I use and some commentary on how and why I use them.  I will continue to update this buying guide for your journey to get healthy as f**k.  If you haven’t read my own very very personal journey, feel free to read and laugh at my pain.  Some of these products are a bit spendy, but this is important stuff, and miracles aren’t cheap.  You obviously don’t have to use these exact products.  In some cases I will explain why I chose this brand over others, but often it doesn’t really matter.   

Cali’flour pizza is amazing.  If you don’t use the link below, make sure you use the correct spelling because the cali’flower website is mostly cannabis, not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not healthy as f**k or “HAF” for short.  There are lots of cauliflower pizzas on the market that aren’t that healthy.  They are full of BS ingredients like brown rice flour and tons of carbs.  These pizza skins only have cauliflower, eggs, cheese, and salt.  They take longer than they advertise to get crispy in the oven, but they’re delicious and healthy as f**k. 

Cali’flour Foods Gluten Free, Low Carb Cauliflower Original Italian Pizza Crusts – 1 Box – (2 Total Crusts Per Box)

Quest MCT Oil Powder. This MCT oil powder is the secret to a great cup of morning coffee. Adding this with some Bulletproof Octane Oil (listed below), grass fed organic butter, or coconut oil is the perfect energizing way to start your day.


Broccoli Sprouts. I wrote about broccoli sprouts in my Top Ten Reasons to eat more Veggies article. Here is what I said: A number of studies show the greatest health benefits from vegetables may be derived from the cruciferous vegetables (cauliflower, Brussel sprouts, cabbage, and broccoli sprouts).  The micronutrient that seems to be the most active in terms of cancer fighting is sulfurophane and this stuff is in highest concentration in broccoli sprouts, 50 times higher than any of its closest competitors.  What are broccoli sprouts you may be asking?  They look like the little microgreen sprouts that go on your turkey sandwich when you buy them premade from that organic deli near your work.  I can hear your wheels turning, “so more turkey sandwiches for lunch then? Got it.”  Not so fast my friend, those are alfalfa sprouts stuck to the Havarti on your sandy and while they are reasonably good, and nutritionally speaking your sandwich is far superior to Eric’s microwave burrito, they aren’t broccoli sprouts and therefore you are not enjoying the amazing health benefits from what very may be the healthiest food on earth.  Broccoli sprouts are not bad tasting either, they are a little spicy with a nice bite to them and may actually be the healthiest food on earth.  Did I mention that?  If there is a weird nutritional thing I do, besides eating my children’s hair, it’s growing my own broccoli sprouts and I’ve taken to buying the sprout growing kits for my friends and family as gifts.  They are fun to grow and reach maturity in about a week.  I add them to salads, or whatever I happen to be eating that day.  If I have more than I can eat fresh, then I freeze them and add them to smoothies.  The supposed benefits of broccoli sprouts seem to be ever-growing as more and more research is conducted.  To date broccoli sprouts have been shown to help with depression, hair loss, and preventing cancer, specifically breast and prostate cancer.  Current research suggests that it is active against all cancers, but more studies are needed to confirm this.  The more I read about these things, the more I want to move out to the country and start growing broccoli sprouts full time.  I grow by broccoli sprouts in my kitchen window and no soil or fertilizer is required.  Just a little bit of sunlight, some municipally sourced tap water, and love.  I actually task my children with spraying them with water every day as a chore, but they usually forget and so I end up doing it myself.  I tell them that in my day, I had to carry the water from a well to water my father’s tobacco plants, which he turned into cigarettes.  Then, he would make me smoke all of the cigarettes, to teach me a lesson, about hard work, farming, and smoking.  At what age should we stop lying to our children? My vote is for right after never.  This reminds me, a recent study showed some of the greatest benefits of vegetables and sulfurophanes was seen in smokers, but this probably applies to anyone who regularly exposes themselves to cancer causing substances like coal miners, tanning salon workers, and coal miner smokers who regularly use tanning beds.  It makes sense that those at highest risk of cancer would then derive the greatest benefit from a cancer fighting food, but try telling that to those tanned, chain-smoking coal miners, they’re just so cool, tanned, and living in flavor country, they don’t listen.   I am trying to avoid telling you exactly what and when to eat things, but I think it’s in your best interests to start eating broccoli sprouts now, if not sooner.  Here’s the link.


 Bulletproof Brain Octane MCT Oil.  This goes in my coffee most mornings with the powder, turmeric, and whatever else I have lying around.  It gives me a big jolt of energy from the fat and my brain seems to work on overdrive when I drink it.  With this brand, I don’t get such intense bouts of diarrhea as compared with other MCT oils, and while I miss the thrill of gastrointestinal urgency, I really enjoy the mental clarity this stuff gives me.  It can make the top of your coffee oily, which is why I pair it with the Quest MCT oil powder.  

Super Fat. This stuff is organic, high quality fat, nut butter that is delicious and filling.  It will tide you over if you get in a pinch between meals.  I eat these very often when I’m at work and I don’t have time to sit down to eat.  I can’t recommend these enough, also their name is pretty good. 

These Mushroom Elixers are great for either getting energized and creative or winding down.  The first one is the energizer and the second one is the relaxer.  They have other options but all have shown to boost brain power and increase cognition, and if you were paying attention, you would note that those two descriptors are exactly the same thing.  I need another mushroom coffee.  

This magnesium is amazing if you have trouble relaxing for bed without a bottle of wine.  Magnesium is a natural smooth muscle relaxant that is a twofer because it helps you sleep and also helps you poop when you wake up the next morning.  It’s kind of a miracle elixir.  I don’t have trouble with sleep or pooping but I’m in the minority on this.  Please get your hands on this stuff if either of these things are an issue for you.  Also, it tastes delicious and won’t cause diarrhea or accidentally pooping the bed. 

I cook a lot with coconut oil.  This stuff also goes in my coffee and most baked goods.  If you have another brand you prefer, no big deal.  I like Costco’s Kirkland brand for the price and because it’s organic.  If you are unsure about coconut oil, be sure to check out my article in its defense

I like this brand of almond flour but I’m not opposed to others.  I use almond flour instead of regular wheat flour and also for things like breadcrumbs.  I use it most of all in my low carb pancakes.  Here’s the recipe.  Full disclosure, my kids put Nutella all over my low carb pancakes, effectively defeating their purpose. 

I write in this as part of my morning and evening bed routines.  More to come on this later.  Tim Ferriss recommended it and I pretty much try whatever he suggests.  I’m a big fan of this.  

I put this in my morning coffee and also try to season as many dishes as possible with this stuff.  It’s not proven to be super anti-inflammatory like some people say, but I like the taste and am holding out hope for future research to show even more benefit.  

I always ask my back patients if they do yoga.  100% say no.  Most say, “but I stretch”.  Yoga is what you need.  Most guys have no idea how to stretch.  I ask the people who “stretch” to touch their toes and it’s like a rectal exam from Andre the Giant. Lots of moaning in what sounds like pain, but I can’t be entirely sure.  

I will add more products that I like, use, and trust in the future.  I used their Amazon links because I am an affiliate and get a small kickback if you use my links to buy these products and others.  If you find another product, brand, or site that is cheaper or better, I encourage you to go with that one.  My kickback is quite small and I’m a doctor, so I’ll be fine.   No matter what site you use, I encourage you to give these products a try.  Thanks. 

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